I feel like I have Charlie Brown moments all the time. It never fails that I am so determined to succeed and the football, whatever elusive goal that may be, seems to be pulled right out from under me.
Of course, if I am being completely honest (we know how writers like to exaggerate...it makes us more interesting)...maybe I miss the football not because Lucy, or circumstance, yanks it from out of my deserving feet, but because I did not really want the football.
WHAT IF CHARLIE BROWN DOES NOT GET THE FOOTBALL BECAUSE DEEP DOWN HE REALLY DOESN'T WANT IT?!
What does that mean for me? Simply this: like dear old Chuck, I can project every appearance of wanting my football. I lean back, get proper perspective, steel myself to impact and take off at a running start to get the best advantage. But when the time to connect my foot with that bit of pigskin...there is a complete failure.
As my father likes to say, "I think there was a failure to communicate!"
If I do not communicate to circumstance that I want my football...how can I expect to get it? Charlie Brown always blames Lucy for being Lucy. She knows that Charlie Brown looks like he wants the football. She even knows that he tries to kick it. But her greatest joy in life, besides psychoanalyzing the willing for five cents, is luring Chuck in and devastating him. It makes me wonder, when Lucy is looking at Charlie Brown lying on the grass, is she really sorry? Or is yanking back the football her way of saying "Trust me Chuck. You didn't really want this. And when you do, you'll let me know."
Fine. I suppose it's not enough to say that I want everything (I'm 22 and a romantic, sue me). Here is what I want:
A job that I won't hate
Time for myself: my words, my music, and knitting my blanket in the summer
To be better understood.
HEAR THAT LUCY?
Now. To go get my football back from that brunette trickster in the blue dress.
No comments:
Post a Comment